Saturday, January 28, 2012

I know I said I would be writing again...

But my life has become to difficult to talk about without being way too far out of my comfort zone. Maybe if things pick up and I feel less depressed. Sorry to anyone who might actually read this thing.
~Mama D

Monday, January 2, 2012

I'm back... Part two

The entire time my mom was visiting I was really busy with school. "Morning" sickness had started to kick in but only small waves of nausea. I tried to plan somethings to do with her and Serenity, we went to the zoo and to a baby signing group play class but then Serenity got the stomach flu. Oh my word, it was awful! My little baby had never been so sick and it was hard to know how to help her. I had a stack of towels and blankets and just held her while she threw up and then cleaned up and cuddled till it happened again. She threw up most of the day and finally started nursing in the afternoon and it was the only thing she could keep down for 24 hours after. I think my mom and hubby got a touch of it but not as extreme as baby and luckily I avoided it completely. Just before my mom went home we were able to go out to a movie and I got her pumpkin pie (her favorite) for a late birthday celebration.
School trucked on and became more difficult as the 1st trimester fatigue really set in and the nausea got worse. I tried to be thankful I wasn't throwing up all day, every day, like I did with Serenity. It was all a crazy first for me tho, chasing a one year old, taking difficult classes at night, on little sleep, all while pregnant. Normally, I am an A student and my grades were slipping a little.
As November rolled around nursing suddenly became so painful and I had to do it less and less so my milk supply dropped. This had to be one of the most heart breaking things for Serenity and I both. She deserved to be breast-fed for at least 2 years and here I was pregnant and drying up when she was only 1! She would get pretty mad at me when I started denying her the breast and offering food or a bottle of goats milk formula. It has gotten so bad that I can't put her to sleep at night. She gets so worked up about wanted to nurse that she screams and shakes uncontrollably. Hubby has done a pretty good job at settling her and she goes right down for him now. But he's at work most days and that means I am on my own for naps and in the middle of the night! I found that if I keep her busy and feed her a good lunch, she goes down a lot easier without the breast. There have been a few times at her night waking were she got so worked up and emotional that we both sat there crying.
Thanksgiving came and thanks to a gift certificate I won from PDX Kids Calendar, we had dinner (all but the turkey) and dessert delivered to our door. It was nice, and just the three of us cuddled up for some good eats. The day after was the huz and I's anniversary and he made me a super yummy breakfast!
By now school and pregnancy were completely kicking my butt and poor Serenity wasn't getting enough mama time either. She was down to only nursing in the morning and 1-2 very short times during the day.

To be continued...