The grass is not always greener.

My dear husband, the love of my life, father of my child and truly my best friend, has been off work all week. It has been an interesting dance between him getting in my way, being really helpful, annoying the crap of me and making Serenity very happy. We always talk about how nice it would be if both of us could be home and somehow juggle childcare and a work at home business. What I learned this week is that we would really need to perfect our team work and have a master plan.

Working as a team has been a struggle of ours. We both have gone through periods of unemployment while the other slaved away making ends meet. We both have spent hours cleaning the house, puppy messes, gardening and checking the oil on the car. We were raised in a similar way, however,  I have devoted myself to feminism and he (in unintentional way) sometimes falls back on the idea that certain things are my responsibility because I "choose" to stay at home. After all, his mom stayed home and she did everything. Well, thats not the case with me, I stay at home because its the best option for our child, even if it makes money tight and given my chosen career in Early Education, I can't justify putting her in preschool so I can teach other kids. I also go to school at night, after 10 hours of chasing a toddler, caring for two dogs and attempting to keep the house, bills and car in working order. When do I find time to study you ask? Usually between midnight and before my daughter wakes up to nurse around 3 or 4 am. So, to say the least, I am busy and overworked and I have been trying to explain this to my husband who actually gets to sleep through the night. Okay, so he is stuck in an office 9 hours a day and commutes 45 minutes each way. Yes, I do understand that sucks too, its draining to slave away for some faceless business and spend so much time in traffic and away from the ones you love. And YES, I do "choose" to go to school and "get" to stay at home with the baby BUT its still hard work. 

Now here we are together, most of the day, for 9 days in a row (for the first time since she was a newborn) and its a little awkward. Serenity has enjoyed her extra time with Papa and thats the best part. She loves having free access to both parents and I love being able to call to him when she is pushing me to my limit physically or emotionally. He loves being with her and thats awesome. But he has also been in my way, distracted me from being productive and was less than productive himself. I should say that its been getting better every day. He has been having an easier time putting her to sleep than me and washing a lot of dishes, staying on top of the trash and doing his fair share of potty time and poopie diapers. I'm trying to find time for myself, not nag about dirty socks on the bathroom floor and remember to enjoy all the little things I love about my family.

I guess in the long run, I know that we could make it work. Our love has always been beautifully synchronistic and we just need to learn how to apply it to parenthood. The grass may not alway be greener but its far from brown.